


yeah NO

by arsatine



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Chatting & Messaging, Dorms, Gen, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Texting, chenle is so naive, luwoo is dating but they dont know it, renjun is so whipped for haechan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-04-29 17:00:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14477223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arsatine/pseuds/arsatine
Summary: chenloladdedkinghyuck, jenononono, jaenananana, goldenmoomin, lastswagofthe20thcenturyandgodjpwarkto a new chat.chenlolnamed the chati have a really new crisis pls hELPkinghyuck> chenle u dumb dophin what the fuck is this





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> a self indulgent nct chat that was actually supposed to be funny but i cant keep away from plots save me
> 
> i honestly dont care abt slowburn and shit and ill just update this whenever bye :)

mix of college au and canon like the groups are still grps maybe like dance groups or something (yeah that would be nice) and they're in one big dorm  
and they also actually write and produce songs so taemark actually writes songs and shit

 

301 - taeil ; taeyong  
> altho mark nearly lives here during the day, taeil's just really thankful that they're just two soft grandpas that rarely fuck

302 - kun ; lucas ; jungwoo  
> one of the largest dormrooms in the bldg so they get to share  
> kun made luwoo sign a contract to not third wheel him or else they pay him ￦5,000 per instance  
> he currently has accumulated over ￦165,000 (courtesy of jungwoo being the cause of nearly 75% of it)  
> and actually luwoo thinks kun is charging them for being too flirtacious bc luwoo are a pair of oblivious idiots

303 - johnny ; jaehyun  
> they're pretty compatible as roommates setting schedules and shit  
> but they do a lot of relatively weird shit 

304 - jaemin ; winwin ; doyoung  
> a surprisingly compatible trio  
> they don't mind when each other's s/o is over bc they just cuddle  
> winkun and dojae only do the dirty when they're sure that jaeno is out or in their s/o's apartment  
> winwin takes care of jaem and doyoung when they're sick and jaem constantly brings winwin ice cream and doyoung snacks from the convenience store on his way home and doyoung brings them extra pastrues from the cafe he works part time in

201 - jeno ; jisung  
> jisung mostly hangs out with chenle anyway and jaeno doesn't do anything but cuddle despite their greasy talking on the chat

202 - mark ; haechan  
> bffls  
> haechan doesnt mind mark staying at taeyong's mostly during the day since he's busy with choir and theater and other shit  
> he does whine sometimes and renjun comes over when he starts spamming group chats

203 - chenle ; renjun  
> the go to convention place for the china line in the bldg.  
> largest room in the 2nd floor has 3 bedrooms but 1 is saved for renjun's art shiz  
> jisung and chenle decided to set their xbox here instead since the living room is more comfy

204 - ten ; yuta  
> messiest room in the bldg. aka taeyong's nightmare  
> party place for the squad since they're the ones that usually have the alcohol

 

looks like the main ships will be renhyuck & chensung & luwoo  
(lmao i only realized i ship renhyuck bc of this waw)  
> for drama in renhyuck:  
\- hyuck has a schoolboy crush on jaehyun  
\- renjun always goes to hyuck when hyuck's being a dramatic person  
\- everyone starts to be aware of renjun's big fat crush and eventually encourages him to confess  
\- but renjun is a stubborn lil bitch

> chensung:  
\- theyre both innocent lil babs  
\- chenle just tries to ignore his "symptoms" caused by jisung  
\- jisung is still trying to figure out his sexuality and gets into a relationship with a dancer guy from his class (svt chan yes ik that they're like 3 yrs apart but chan is aged down here or jisung is aged up idk)  
\- jisung is in the same year as chenle

> luwoo:  
\- everyone thinks theyre dating  
\- but the ppl in neo dorm are just suffering from all the tension  
\- other ppl from schl get confused when they see either lucas or jungwoo flirt with other ppl  
\- ppl are betting on when theyll get together  
\- jungwoo is in the same yr as jaehyun and winwin


	2. chenle's sickness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **goldenmoomin**  
>  > what did he do
> 
>  **chenlol**  
>  > thank u renjun ge for actually caring  
> > he makes me sick
> 
>  **goldenmoomin**  
>  > ...
> 
>  **oldmanmork**  
>  > ...

**chenlol** added **kinghyuck, jenononono, jaenananana, goldenmoomin, lastswagofthe20thcentury** and **godjpwark** to a new chat. 

**chenlol** named the chat **i have a really new crisis pls hELP**

 **kinghyuck**   
> chenle u dumb dophin what the fuck is this

 **lastswagofthe20thcentury**   
> *fck or better yet dont swear at all

 **kinghyuck**   
> ifstg mark im going to break u up with taeyong-hyung   
> ur becoming a grandpa ew

 **kinghyuck** changed **lastswagofthe20thcentury's** nickname to **oldmanmork.**

 **godjpwark**  
> ???  
> chenle are you okay

 **chenlol**  
> shit wrong chat

 **chenlol** removed **godjpwark** from the chat.

 **oldmanmork**  
> language u baby dolphin  
> u cant swear you're like 5

 **chenlol**  
> im nearly 19 u old dishrag

 **jaenananana**  
> gasps  
> our bby chenle's getting feisty oh no

 **goldenmoomin**  
> nice   
> also **@jaenananana**   
> who tf types out gasps

 **jaenananana**  
> me u got a problem   
> u literally type out coughs  
> and jeno types out sighs  
> hyuck here types out shit on a daily basis  
> *says shit on a daily basis  
> its part of being in the '00 line bish

 **kinghyuck**  
> fucking fight me na jaemin  
> your entire existence is daily basis shit

 **jaenananana**  
> that absolutely made no sense   
> so i stand by my point **@goldenmoomin**

 **oldmanmork**  
> sTOP SWEARING ISTG  
> also whyd u kick out jisung chenle?

 **chenlol**  
> he's part of the crisis

 **jaenananana**  
> OH ?

 **kinghyuck**  
> OH ?

 **goldenmoomin**  
> devil duo looks like they're about to strike again maybe you should kick them out too **@chenlol**

 **kinghyuck**  
> fucking fight me huang renjun

 **oldmanmork** set **kinghyuck's** nickname to **satan.**

 **oldmanmork** set **jaenananana's** nickname to **satan 2.0.**

**satan 2.0 **  
> why tf am i satan 2.0****

******satan**  
> bc im the og and ur a fake  
> knew morkie would have my back** **

******satan 2.0 **  
> bitch ur an old ass prototype and im the updated ver obvs**** ** **

**********satan 2.0 **set his name to **lucifer. ************ ** ** **

******************lucifer**  
> better** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************jenononono**  
> nana we're not matching anymore :<  
> and chenle jisung is wondering why you kicked him out** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************chenlol**  
> ignore him  
> and **@satan** and **@lucifer**   
> i was the one who needed help so spotlights back on me** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************lucifer**  
> **@jenononono** bby im sorry  
> **@chenlol** u're my bby but ur also such an attention whore ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************chenlol**  
> idc  
> as i was saying   
> jisung pwark needs to be eliminated** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************oldmanmork**  
> *park** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************satan**  
> ur my bestfriend and all but  
> literally no one asked** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************goldenmoomin**  
> what did he do** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************chenlol**  
> thank u renjun ge for actually caring  
> he makes me sick** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************goldenmoomin**  
> ...** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************oldmanmork**  
> ...** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************jenononono**  
> ...** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************satan**  
> ...** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************lucifer**  
> ...** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************satan**  
> well thats harsh   
> damn chenle** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************chenlol**  
> no like legit  
> he makes my heartbeat speed up i might be getting angina or smthng  
> and my stomach gets all jittery i might be getting a bug or smthng maybe stomach acid  
> and i get all paralyzed sometimes   
> all mostly caused by him so yeah he's making me sick** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************goldenmoomin**  
> ...** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************oldmanmork**  
> ...** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************jenononono**  
> ...** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************satan**  
> ...** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************lucifer**  
> ...** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************lucifer**  
> yeah u r a 5 yr old** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************goldenmoomin**  
> chenle...   
> u know angina and stomach acid things and other medical shit but u actually think jisung's making you sick** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************chenlol**  
> i searched it online  
> apparently i might be either dying or in love  
> so i decided that i'd kill jisung first before he kills me** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************lucifer**  
> what kinda shit logic-** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************jenononono**  
> chenle   
> i think you like jisung  
> he's not trying to kill you or anything obviously cuz you're his bestfriend** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************chenlol**  
> hahahahahahhahaha  
> thats funny hyung** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************satan**  
> yeah NO  
> not today bud** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************satan** added **godjpwark** to the chat.** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************chenlol** removed **godjpwark** from the chat.** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************lucifer** added **godjpwark** to the chat.** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************chenlol** removed **godjpwark** from the chat.** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************chenlol** removed **satan** from the chat.** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************chenlol** removed **lucifer** from the chat.** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************chenlol**  
> peace and quiet** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************goldenmoomin**   
> u gotta accept it chenle   
> we dont want u plotting jisungie's death  
> ur too young to go to jail** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************chenlol**  
> _we hot and we young_  
> well yolo  
> but i cant like jisung   
> that's weird  
> hes like my bestfriend** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************jenononono**  
> he IS your bestfriend** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************chenlol**  
> exactly** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************goldenmoomin**  
> me liking donghyuck is supernatural crazy weird but ive accepted it  
> jeno dating a crackhead satan like jaemin is weird ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************jenononono**  
> hey !  
> also you like hyuck?** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************goldenmoomin**  
> mark slowly becoming a grandpa bc of taeyong hyung is some weird shit** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************oldmanmork**  
> hEY  
> also why are we hearing about your crush on hyuck only now** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************goldenmoomin**  
> its not like i go telling people that   
> "oh hey ive got a big fat crush on the dramaqueen lee donghyuck"  
> but we accepted those facts chenle** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************chenlol**  
> its weird bc we're still both too young** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************goldenmoomin**  
> im not telling u to get married   
> im telling u to accept the fact that you like jisung   
> being in denial is worse bc ur a lot more obvious  
> but ur obvious subconsiously  
> when ur not in denial at least u can control ur actions** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************oldmanmork**  
> wow renjun** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************chenlol**  
> but its weird seeing jisung that way** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************goldenmoomin**  
> well thats a cycle of life  
> and just a word of advice?  
> never ever distance urself from jisung   
> thats just gonna hurt both of u in the long run** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************jenononono**  
> injun...   
> just saying if u ever need to talk im here ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************oldmanmork**  
> yeah me too** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************goldenmoomin**  
> nah im gud** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************chenlol**  
> thanks hyungs** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************goldenmoomin**  
> np** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************goldenmoomin** named the chat **we hot and we young.**** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************goldenmoomin** cleared the chat.** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************goldenmoomin** added **satan, lucifer,** and **godjpwark** to the chat.** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************lucifer**  
> hey demons   
> its me   
> ya boi** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************satan** removed **lucifer** from the chat.** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************jenononono** added **lucifer** to the chat.** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************jenononono** set **lucifer's** nickname to **jaenananana.**** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************godjpwark**  
> so what was that** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************goldenmoomin**  
> weird shit of the day by zhong chenle** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************chenlol**  
> ge!** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************satan**  
> we were planning a surprise birthday party for u** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************godjpwark**  
> my birthday's finished  
> its currently april now  
> but i wont pry if u dont wanna tell** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************jaenananana**  
> thats seems fake but okay** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************satan**  
> who r u and what have u done to jisung-ah  
> real jisung would disrespect and blackmail us ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************godjpwark**  
> wow nice to know that u think that highly of me** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************jaenananana**  
> ofc ur our precious maknae** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************satan**  
> gags** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************jenononono**  
> sighs** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************jaenananana**  
> see **@goldenmoomin**  
> im not alone bishh** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************chenlol**  
> renjun ge just set his phone on the floor and faceplanted on the couch with a loud sigh  
> "tell jaem that im done with his shit"  
> lol** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************jaenananana**  
> tell him that he's a little bitch** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************oldmanmork**  
> at this point ive given up on u all  
> id switch places with lucas in a heartbeat** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************satan**  
> u sure u wanna be stuck with the 127 and U hyungs instead >:)   
> mork: war flashbacks** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************oldmanmork**  
> ill go back to the dungeon istg** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this before deciding that this would be non-canon au so yeah lol


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> renhyuck !!!!
> 
> honestly renhyuck wasnt even supposed to be a main ship but i fell in love with the ship along the way i guess lmao

**_들영하덜_ **

**kinghyuck**  
> mark lee  
> my bestie  
> my platonic other half  
> dumb shit that i stuck with thru high school  
> gramps

 **letmoonsleep**  
> they're sleeping on the couch

 **kinghyuck**  
> oh the ult gramps  
> but my classes got cancelled and now im lonely.

 **letmoonsleep**  
> go to sleep too then

 **kinghyuck**   
> not sleepy  
> i want to have a movie marathon   
> and pizza and ice cream and soda

 **jaenananana**  
> lololol u sound like ur on ur period  
> like craving a lot of shit  
> maybe explains y ur so pissy  
> but ur so pissy everyday so

 **kinghyuck**  
> smfd jaeyuck

 **jaenananana**  
> no thnx  
> ur the one that literally has a yuck in your name donghYUCK

 **goldenmoomin**  
> just finished my classes   
> and im on my way back to the dorm   
> want me to pick up some ice cream on the way back

 **kinghyuck**  
> an angel  
> an intellectual  
> my lord and saviour  
> yes pls renjunnie

 **jaenananana**  
> wow hyuck making someone's name sound cute  
> ur special injun

 **goldenmoomin**  
> im down for a movie marathon too

 **kinghyuck**  
> literally fuk off na jaemin  
> i can call anyone cutely if they deserve it and since renjun decided to be my company in my time of loneliness   
> he indeed does deserve it  
> so yea fuk off   
> go cuddle jeno or smthng

 **jaenananana**  
> that i will do

 **letmoonsleep**  
> since it seems like ur okay now hyuck   
> ill mute this for now and focus on class  
> enjoy your movie marathon with renjun

 **kinghyuck**  
> thnx grandpa tail

 **goldenmoomin**  
> what flavor do u want

 **kinghyuck**  
> mint choco chip or cookies and cream   
> preferably both

**goldenmoomin**  
> do u still want pizza cuz if u do better order it now

 **kinghyuck**  
> oh yea tnx  
> see u soon

* * *

 **bunnydo**  
> well that was domestic  
> cute and domestic

 **longassride**  
> thanks **@goldenmoomin**

**goldenmoomin**  
> he's asleep mwahahahaha

 **goldenmoomin** set his nickname to **godleedonghyuck.**

 **longassride**  
> hi hyuckie

 **godleedonghyuck**  
> u traitor  
> renjun now has the position of my best friend

 **longassride**  
> i was asleep  
> also no he isnt

 **johnnykapjagi**  
> lmao markie's possessive of his role

 **godleedonghyuck** set **longassride's** nickname to **traitor.**

 **godleedonghyuck**   
> _sent an image_  
> he looks like a moomin

 **johnnykapjagi**  
> let renjun live donghyuck  
> also is that aladdin on the tv

 **godleedonghyuck**  
> we had a disney marathon   
> fucking fite me

 **johnnykapjagi**  
> can i join

 **traitor**  
> me too   
> taeyong hyung has a class

 **godleedonghyuck**  
> no :p  
> i dont wanna share my food   
> and y would i take in a traitor liek u

 **traitor** set his nickname to **mapleleeaf.**

 **mapleleeaf**  
> bc im your bestfriend

 **godleedonghyuck**  
> ur not renjun bye

 **mapleleeaf**  
> say good bye to your starbucks tomorrow then  
> im pretty sure you'd enjoy the budget coffee in the vending machines more

 **godleedonghyuck**  
> ur not tricking me minhyung lee

 **bunnydo**  
> im back   
> why are you using renjun's phone btw

 **godleedonghyuck**  
> nobody cares hyung  
> also my phone is charging   
> did u know that renjun's wallpaper is this really cool painting of moomin  
> its really good   
> altho that boi should tone down his obssession

 **bunnydo**  
> why dont you just focus on the movie 

**godleedonghyuck**  
> bc its boring now  
> renjun fell asleep

 **bunnydo**  
> yeah i saw the pic

 **mapleleeaf**  
> let me come over  
> besides its my room too

 **godleedonghyuck**  
> :P :P :P :P :P   
> suk it mark lee  
> uve been replaced  
> also ive finished the ice cream and now i think im going to a food coma bye

 **mapleleeaf**  
> the doors still locked  
> atleast unlock it before you sleep  
> donghyuck?  
> hyuckieeeee

 **johnnykapjagi**  
> i think he fell asleep mark  
> better stay at taeyongs place

 **mapleleeaf**  
> ugh  
> yeah it's locked  
> i went down one floor for this crap

* * *

 **godleedonghyuck**  
> hi help needed

 **lettytrackdie**  
> why hyuck

 **godleedonghyuck**  
> hyuck?  
> its renjun  
> oh

 **godleedonghyuck** set his nickname to **goldenmoomin.**

 **goldenmoomin**  
> hyuck fell asleep on me i guess  
> hes so heavy and im becoming numb

 **johnnykapjagi**  
> he said you looked like a moomin earlier  
> you were all curled up and shit   
> how tf did he fall asleep on you like that

 **lettytrackdie**  
> dont swear at renjun johnny

 **goldenmoomin**  
> i switched positions i think

 **lettytrackdie**  
> mark said that the door was locked bc hyuck was being selfish earlier so no one can get in

 **chenlol**  
> maybe u can just shove donghyuck-hyung off   
> u can run off quickly to avoid his whining

 **goldenmoomin**  
> idk that seems too rude

 **chenlol**  
> oh oh ofc its rude for u hyung  
> :>>>>>  
> :>>>>  
> :>>>  
> :>>

 **goldenmoomin**  
> chenle stop

 **chenlol**  
> :>  
> oh u ruined my streak hyung

 **jenononono**  
> ^_^

 **goldenmoomin**  
> i hate the both of u

 **johnnykapjagi**  
> are we missing something or?

 **goldenmoomin**  
> absolutely nothing hyung 

**lettytrackdie**  
> well you could wake him up

 **goldenmoomin**  
> absolutely not

 **jenononono**  
> suffer then

 **goldenmoomin**  
> uve been influenced by jaemin too much

 **jenononono**  
> whats that supposed to mean

 **goldenmoomin**  
> sighs

 **jenononono**  
> **@jaenananana** you were right

 **jaenananana**  
> ha  
> see huang renjun   
> the power of '00 line

 **goldenmoomin**  
> i am so done with ur shit na jaemin

 **lettytrackdie**  
> johnny i told you not to swear at renjunnie see now

 **johnnykapjagi**  
> he's 18 taeyong  
> ofc he swears  
> u swear too  
> u let mark swear when he turned 18

 **lettytrackdie**  
> n o t   
> t h e   
> p o i n t  
> ? ? ?

 **jaenananana**  
> u let mark swear ????  
> @mapleleeaf is this what betrayal feels like ???  
> suddenly i dont know a mark lee ???  
> i only know a snake going all gramps on us when hes a HYPOCRITE himself  
> mark lee : cancelled  
> na jaemin : betrayed

 **goldenmoomin**  
> sorry hyung  
> so what do i do abt donghyuck

 **chenlol**  
> :>

 **jenononono**  
> ^_^

 **jaenananana**  
> suffer

 **goldenmoomin**  
> sigh  
> ill just go back too sleep and hope that this crap is over when i wake up  
> also **@chenlol** and **@jenononono** go die pls : >

 **@jaenananana**  
> wow im not included in the death list  
> idk if im supposed to be insulted or honored

 **lettytrackdie**  
> thanks for not swearing

 **goldenmoomin**  
> no problem hyung


End file.
